Madonna vs. Weird Al, Round 5

In the "Like a Virgin" vs. "Like a Surgeon" battle, our contestants are tied at 2.

Ciccone:

You're so fine, and you're mine

Make me strong, yeah you make me bold

Oh, your love thawed out; yeah, your love thawed out

What was scared and cold

Analysis: This is hilarious. I wish this one was the parody. "Your love thawed out" is so facile and yet disturbing a line that I hope some blogger someday appropriates it for a blog title or subtitle. So she needs a man to make her not frigid. OMG, is she a Republican? Oh, yeah, and "you're so fine and you're mine" makes me rethink my long-held position that "fire/desire" is the hackiest rhyme in history.

Bottom Line: Holy shit, I hope she's joking.

Yankovic:

Let me see that IV

Here we go -- time to operate

I'll pull his insides out, pull his insides out

And see what he ate

Analysis: Weird Al goes for the gross joke. Ehh. Whatever. I like the plot movement, though. Things are happening! Now it's time to operate! As opposed to Madonna's repeated stating of the same idea, which has been going on for, like, five stanzas. Cohesiveness is good, but stories are better! I also kinda like the colloquial use of "let me see" in this stanza. I wonder if Weird Al was chided, as I was, by an overly literal grade-school teacher over that.

Bottom Line: Well, at least nothing got thawed out.

Verdict: Al takes the lead.